>	Jade X Slater
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	Darkness
	In a world filled with lies, manipulation, pain, and suffering, how is one supposed to find that light at the end of the tunnel? We do so much, accomplish so little. We'll never leave our mark. Never make a difference. We won't even make the lightest of ripples. I've done what I can. Done what I can, for as long as I can. I've been doing nothing but treading water for so long, I'm tired. So. Very. Tired. I feel drained. Spent. Weak. There just isn't anything left in me. In every sense of the word, I am well and truly depleted. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. I'm running on low. Empty. I was born into this world alone, and alone, I shall die. Since the beginning of time, so it was set, and so it always shall be. I was taught right from wrong. Good from bad. To always do the right thing. Be nice. Be respectful. Do good. Problem is, every time. Let me emphasize: Every. Single. Time. I do try. Trust me, oh, how I try. All I'm ever met with is the bad and worse. That is, if I hadn't already been thwarted halfway there. So, again, why bother? Karma is a bitch, but, life is worse, life is the most sadistic mother of them all. There's no holding life back. Every time I try to stand up, it's right there. Right there to remind me how little effort it takes to knock the breath out of me, stomp all over my soul. That is, if I actually believe I have one of those and leave me for dead. So, why fight? Why get up every morning and continue? What happens, when all that comes, when asked, is a blank mind? Zip. Zilch. Nada. Not One. Damn. Thing. Comes to mind. When the one and only thing that drives you is the search for the answer. Is that enough? Some would argue: yes. Those who disagree will always stay quiet, or agree for the sake of agreeing, because that's what you're supposed to do. They don't want the attention drawn to them. Stay quiet. Stay in the background. Blend in. For days...weeks.months.years. Hell, I dare say, decades, I've been that person. Agree for the sake of agreeing. Yet, I've got it. I have always got it. I understand. I know it all too fucking well. For so long, there has been no driving force, but the search for that drive. That's it. It's only the search that keeps me going. However, when is enough, enough? When is it time to declare the search to be over? When do I throw up my hands and declare the search to be over? For the longest time, I've quit looking. Now, every day, I'm standing at the edge of an abyss. A bottomless pit of darkness, and all I can do is look down. At some point. No. It wasn't at "some" point. Each and every day for the longest time I've taken one step closer to the edge. Couple of times, I even took two steps back. Doesn't mean it's reason to celebrate. Got to the edge eventually anyways. Now, the only thing to do is stare down. Struggle. Battle against the deafening silence. Fight to not give in to the open and welcoming arms of the darkness. The darkness that surrounds and is familiar. Oh, so, familiar. Even before I stood at the precipice, darkness was always my friend. It comforts, it hugs, it snuggles. It's been there with me through thick and thin. Its support has always been and will always be. Unwavering support. The one support in the world that I know I can always count on. Even in the full light of day, it's there. In the shadows, it lurks. It waits. Waits for the sun to go down. For the bulbs to burn out. For the wax and wick to run out. Always. Forever. It is there. Eternally.

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